Brothers

Therefore as life went on I became wary of folks I did not know that well, and never quite trusted strangers until I got to know them better. This is a good way to live. This keeps you from being led down the wrong path. Forge your own path was my way of dealing with things life threw at me.

In my life time there has been many things thrown at me that I had to make adjustments to. None of them have ever compared to Combat. Just typing the word brings a chill in my spine and tears to my eyes. I have learned to quickly adjust my thinking and bring myself out of the horror that I used to not be able to speak of.

Combat brothers are a special breed of people that are more your brothers then any blood brother ever will be. Many of these brothers died along the way of combat, or just disappeared into the belly of a helicopter on a stretcher, never to be seen again.

After combat, I spent the majority of my life trying to be normal. I married, raised a family, worked a 40 hour a week job, and adjusted to what I thought normal was. I put the monster in my mind in a closet and slammed the fucking door and said I can control this. I did not  know the monster had a name. I thought I could drink, smoke and worst of all work it all away. The door on the closet sometimes bulged and banged and wanted out.

I got angry at it and everyone else. I quit my 40 hour week job and buried myself in the construction world where work can last 60, 80 and even 120 hours a week. Work could take you far from home and work left you working with a small team of people. A construction team is a bunch of brothers and sisters working endlessly for hours to accomplish the completion of great projects. Most of these projects will become old and dated and after awhile be replaced by other projects and life goes on. However for a brief period of time I found the closest thing to combat brothers was in the construction world. The weird thing is it took awhile for me to realize that that closeness with other people on a project was something I searched for to help me stay sane.

One day I met a doctor, a doctor of the mind. He said come in sit down you have my undivided attention for the next 30 minutes. Three and half hours later the fucking closet door opened and the monster stood before me and his name was PTSD. The last seven years this monster walks around with me, behind me, beside me, always with me and I acknowledge his presence.

I have never been able to stop myself from yearning for the comradeship of brothers. Real brothers are hard to find. Real people who give a damn are hard to find. I’m a lucky guy in a lot of ways. One way I’m real lucky in, is in this past few weeks, I found some brothers and a few sisters with a lot in common and what we accomplished was great. There was a moment where I let the thought of losing someone overcome my emotions and I saw the helicopter flying away and I got pretty upset with myself for following instead of leading. My new brothers were there and each said a few words to me and all was well. I left with strangers on that IRL voyage I returned with brothers.

How fortunate I am.

Bones

Darryl “Bones” Benton. It spite of all he’s been through he still likes to laugh.

“We have to learn to live on land without killing our waters.”
Dr. Leesa Souto, Chief, Marine Resources Council, Palm Bay, FL

www.irl-paddle-adventure.com

Darryl Benton
Volunteer Kayak Guide, Africa, Brevard Zoo
www.brevardzoo.org
President E/20th LRP – C/75th Airborne Ranger Association
www.e20-lrp-c75-rgr.org/

Darry Benton is a paddler, a Viet Nam veteran, and an outstanding human being.